It is my dad’s birthday this weekend. We’ll be celebrating his 45th… again. Actually, my dad isn’t the kind of person to hide his age, although I’m pretty sure he’d have to think long and hard how old he actually is.
So here we are again, another year, another birthday, same wonderful dad. As my dad adds another candle to the cake of life, I can’t help but to think about how much he has contributed to my own life and I would like to take this moment to salute all the fathers out there that have dedicated themselves to be the best fathers they can be to their daughters.
First, allow me to insert some academia… I believe it’s a studied fact that fathers greatly impact how their daughters look at men and handle relationships. Okay, so I can’t site a research book or social scientist, but you know what I’m talking about. Everyone is familiar with the well accepted concept that women tend to marry someone like their father, so as a female, if your father is dog kickin’, no carin’ kind of guy, you can pretty much bet your money that your future hubs is bound to have some similar traits. If nothing else, chances are you won’t have any money to bet in the future because your deadbeat husband took it all on spent it on beer and the “Happy Days” DVD collection.
So that’s an extreme instance and probably not very fair.
Let’s take the example of the uninvolved, but super successful father. And before I go any further let me say this – for a father to be successful professionally it does not automatically mean he has to be uninvolved in his child’s life. And if a man is only capable of putting all his attention toward his million dollar paying job, then I wouldn’t consider him successful in the first place. Anyway, many dads in today’s world are the kind of dad who just brings home the paycheck and leaves the childrearing to the wife. The sad part of it all is that the dad thinks he’s providing for his family, but little does he know what a disservice he’s doing to the emotional health of whatever daughters he may have.
If a dad doesn’t make a conscience effort to pay a part in his daughter’s life, you better believe that daughter will grow up and misconstrue abusive behaviors from potential mates as “love.”
It’s true. If a young woman doesn’t get love and respect from the first man in her life, how will she be able to recognize it from the other ones? Standards are set at home, and that is why so many women “become like their mother” and marry someone like their father – it is what’s comfortable and it is what us girls know. So a daughter’s relationship destiny is ultimately in the hands of her father and boy, am I glad I have the dad that I do.
My dad is by far the hardest worker I know and successful to boot. But no matter how busy he was, he always took time to be a part of my life. He treated all women with respect and from day one, that’s all I knew, so if I saw an angry, bullheaded, chauvinistic dad in public, I’d literally get scared. And I’m sure you can picture it now: a little Stephanie with big blue eyes and an even bigger head sees a burly man yelling at his wife in Toy R Us and runs to her mom not knowing what to think of the mean man wearing what I’m sure what a tacky flannel.
As I grew older, my dad really let my mom take the driver’s seat with me, after all, what sane father wants to navigate the roads of puberty with a teenage daughter?! But he was always there both literally and figuratively. If I wasn’t in my teenage angst mode, he’d be there to listen and laugh (if I WAS in that mode, he was still there to listen, but then would run away and take cover). He also came to every school play, to every game, every special event. I’ve learned to start being a good dad, you can simply start by just being “there.”
Since my dad raised the bar for all dads, he then in turn raised the bar for every guy I would come to date. Short story long, the man I’m going to marry is a hard worker, respects woman, gives in to my every wish, only really like to eat meant and potatoes and actually LIKES to clean. The first two qualities are obviously the most important and the other three are just ironic, but hey, I’ll take a man who moves well with a broom ANY DAY.
The one thing that IS debatable is if my soon-to-be hubby will ever love me AS MUCH as my dad. Don’t get me wrong, my fiancé ADORES me – I mean, I wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love me with every fiber of his being, because that’s how much I adore him. But there is some kind love that my dad has for me that I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand and is something truly only a great father feels for his daughter.
Oh man. I’m getting all teary over here.
Let’s wipe our eyes and get back to the whole point of this post… to pay homage to good dads, including mine. I guess you could say that it doesn’t take much to be a good dad because I feel like it simply takes some good old fashioned quality time, but for some men, time is money and spending a little time with a daughter isn’t worth the catch up they might have to do later. I do know that if “time is money” was MY dad’s philosophy, he’d be the poorest man in the world and I’d still be the happiest and most loved daughter.
Happy birthday, Dad!
So here we are again, another year, another birthday, same wonderful dad. As my dad adds another candle to the cake of life, I can’t help but to think about how much he has contributed to my own life and I would like to take this moment to salute all the fathers out there that have dedicated themselves to be the best fathers they can be to their daughters.
First, allow me to insert some academia… I believe it’s a studied fact that fathers greatly impact how their daughters look at men and handle relationships. Okay, so I can’t site a research book or social scientist, but you know what I’m talking about. Everyone is familiar with the well accepted concept that women tend to marry someone like their father, so as a female, if your father is dog kickin’, no carin’ kind of guy, you can pretty much bet your money that your future hubs is bound to have some similar traits. If nothing else, chances are you won’t have any money to bet in the future because your deadbeat husband took it all on spent it on beer and the “Happy Days” DVD collection.
So that’s an extreme instance and probably not very fair.
Let’s take the example of the uninvolved, but super successful father. And before I go any further let me say this – for a father to be successful professionally it does not automatically mean he has to be uninvolved in his child’s life. And if a man is only capable of putting all his attention toward his million dollar paying job, then I wouldn’t consider him successful in the first place. Anyway, many dads in today’s world are the kind of dad who just brings home the paycheck and leaves the childrearing to the wife. The sad part of it all is that the dad thinks he’s providing for his family, but little does he know what a disservice he’s doing to the emotional health of whatever daughters he may have.
If a dad doesn’t make a conscience effort to pay a part in his daughter’s life, you better believe that daughter will grow up and misconstrue abusive behaviors from potential mates as “love.”
It’s true. If a young woman doesn’t get love and respect from the first man in her life, how will she be able to recognize it from the other ones? Standards are set at home, and that is why so many women “become like their mother” and marry someone like their father – it is what’s comfortable and it is what us girls know. So a daughter’s relationship destiny is ultimately in the hands of her father and boy, am I glad I have the dad that I do.
My dad is by far the hardest worker I know and successful to boot. But no matter how busy he was, he always took time to be a part of my life. He treated all women with respect and from day one, that’s all I knew, so if I saw an angry, bullheaded, chauvinistic dad in public, I’d literally get scared. And I’m sure you can picture it now: a little Stephanie with big blue eyes and an even bigger head sees a burly man yelling at his wife in Toy R Us and runs to her mom not knowing what to think of the mean man wearing what I’m sure what a tacky flannel.
As I grew older, my dad really let my mom take the driver’s seat with me, after all, what sane father wants to navigate the roads of puberty with a teenage daughter?! But he was always there both literally and figuratively. If I wasn’t in my teenage angst mode, he’d be there to listen and laugh (if I WAS in that mode, he was still there to listen, but then would run away and take cover). He also came to every school play, to every game, every special event. I’ve learned to start being a good dad, you can simply start by just being “there.”
Since my dad raised the bar for all dads, he then in turn raised the bar for every guy I would come to date. Short story long, the man I’m going to marry is a hard worker, respects woman, gives in to my every wish, only really like to eat meant and potatoes and actually LIKES to clean. The first two qualities are obviously the most important and the other three are just ironic, but hey, I’ll take a man who moves well with a broom ANY DAY.
The one thing that IS debatable is if my soon-to-be hubby will ever love me AS MUCH as my dad. Don’t get me wrong, my fiancé ADORES me – I mean, I wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love me with every fiber of his being, because that’s how much I adore him. But there is some kind love that my dad has for me that I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand and is something truly only a great father feels for his daughter.
Oh man. I’m getting all teary over here.
Let’s wipe our eyes and get back to the whole point of this post… to pay homage to good dads, including mine. I guess you could say that it doesn’t take much to be a good dad because I feel like it simply takes some good old fashioned quality time, but for some men, time is money and spending a little time with a daughter isn’t worth the catch up they might have to do later. I do know that if “time is money” was MY dad’s philosophy, he’d be the poorest man in the world and I’d still be the happiest and most loved daughter.
Happy birthday, Dad!
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