Granddaughter by Choice, Not Force

As I sit in my office chair doing my daily "clenches" (i.e. flexing my cheeks and sucking in my stomach) to work off the calories from the holiday weekend (I think this is a proven method of exercise that I will write a book about in the near future, "Clenching at Your Desk: Flexing Equals Burning"), I would like to acknowledge those grandparents in my life who have "adopted" me over the years as I had a full weekend of both happiness and tragedy.

I grew up with a limited amount of "old people" in my life. I used to refer to the aging population in such a politically incorrect way only because by the time I was born, two out of my four blood grandparents had passed away and another when I was only four years old. My remaining biological grandparent was a wonderful woman, but somewhat distant from our family and has also since passed, so as a young child, I didn't really understand what it was to have a grandma or grandpa, thus "old people" were often thought of as scary and unfamiliar in my pig tail-sporting head. However, as the years passed and my pig tails turned into highlighted, chemically straightening locks, very special, "mature" individuals, opened their hearts and gave me the chance to be something that I otherwise would never get the chance to be - a granddaughter.

Growing up with a short supply of blood relatives, my parents have made a commendable effort to grow our immediate family with the love and support of close friends. I have some wonderful "aunts" and "uncles" who are actually just my parents' dear companions who have so graciously taken me in as a niece, no questions asked. These "relatives" are so close to me and have been in my life for so long, that I often forget that I'm not actually in their bloodline and find myself commenting on how I look like a "cousin", when in reality, I'm just as related to Angelina Jolie as I am to them (unfortunately, I did not get "Cousin Angelina's" lips and hot bod - damn).

With my parents' friends come their own parents, who over the years, have filled the grandpa/grandma void in my life. I also have been blessed and been adopted by my boyfriend's grandma who is the youngest 90 year old woman I have ever met and has truly redefined what it means to age. Its people like her that make me realize that it doesn't matter who you're related to; its the people who make the effort to love you who deserve the title "family" regardless of blood ties, and I feel so blessed to be considered a "granddaughter" to people who truly don't NEED to love me, but do anyway out of the goodness of their heart.

One of those special people who loved me because they wanted to and not because they "had" to, and who I affectionately referred to as "grandma", passed away this weekend, leaving a void in so many people's hearts. Her passing did not come as a surprise only because she suffered from failing health, but like any death, its still a tragedy and I have lost yet another grandparent.

The same day this specific grandma passed away, I spent the evening enjoying holiday lights with an 80 something who is a close family friend of my boyfriend and who has quickly become another person who treats me like a grandchild. It was a bittersweet moment because as I spent the evening enjoying her company, I was mourning the loss of someone who meant a lot to my family and it made my realize that although I technically do not have grandparents, I'm surrounded by so many people who I can affectionately give the title to, which at times, seems almost more special than plain biologcial bonds.

So as the holiday season rolls on and I celebrate the time of year with one less person, I'm reminded that I have been blessed to have been chosen by so many remarkable people who I can proudly call family.

R.I.P Grandma Grace.