What comes to your mind when you hear "dating"? If you're part of generation X or Y, chances are you all have a very different view and definition of the word, which leads to a lot of miscommunication and confusion. "Dating" to some people means casually seeing more than one person at a time with no strings attached, but for others, it can also mean a monogamous relationship that comes paired with the title "girlfriend" or "boyfriend". So how should we define the word for 2007?
When my sister and I were growing up, my mom would always tell how us how during her "dating years" she would have dates every Friday and Saturday night with different "gentlemen", and would question why we weren't doing the same. No, my mom wasn't encouraging us to be, for a lack of better words, "loose women" (love you, Mom), she just didn't, and probably still doesn't, know that the term "dating", and romantic relationships in general, are not what they used to be.
First, I've found that the actual "date" is dead. I realize this isn't going to be true for everyone, but on average, it seems that dates have gone from the one-on-one dinner and a movie of my mom's era to the "come over and watch a movie with my roommates so they can judge you" date of today. I think the more casual approach to dating is due to the fact that so many people meet one another in bars or other potentially judgement impaired settings that when it comes time for the sober meet and greet, there is power and safety in numbers, so the first date that includes your roommates seems like a smart first move. Then once you get comfortable keeping it casual, the fine dining seems like an unnecessary cost and "ta-da!", you don't know if you're "dating", "seeing each other" (is that the same as dating?) or "just friends". Damn.
Second, men today are no longer the chivalrous, confident men of yesterday, which I believe has greatly impacted today's definition of dating. This isn't entirely men's fault and because I happen to have great men in my life, I rather stress the variables that men in the dating scene cannNOT control, to give them some benefit of the doubt, which includes the increasing reliability on the woman to make the first move. Compared to my mom's dating day, its more acceptable for the female to approach the male and I think this a result of women finally taking control of every aspect of their lives. But this has confused the dating scene. I am in serious relationship and was the one to make the first move by asking him out and although we're now 3.5 years into a great relationship, I think it threw him off in the beginning and I had to continue sending "signals" for him to finally take dating ownership. This isn't a bad thing, its just part of the explanation as to why "dating" is no longer black and white.
And what's most interesting in today's dating scene is how "serious" things get so quickly. My mom always made the argument that she could casually date different lads without things getting taken out of context with absolutely no lines being crossed. As politically correct and liberal as my generation is, we sure do like to commit and keep things conservative. Going back to my mom, her kind of dating was considered normal, and I feel that if a young person today consistently has different dates with different people even withOUT any hanky panky, they are considered promiscuous (insert Nelly Furtado's song now). Its seems that if you go out on a REAL date (not a TV party with the roomies) and then you see that person out with someone else the following weekend, all Hell breaks loose. "How dare he/she". Did you even really like them? Well, no. But still, you were kind of, sort of annoyed that someone you were "dating" was out on a date with someone else.
This merits a Part II post once I get some feedback on how "dating" can be defined for 2007. Or is that the beauty of dating in 2007, that times are changing and so should relationships? Do people get serious so quickly because a relationship is the only thing that is stable in 2007 with so many other issues surrounding us?
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