Stretch Out Your Beer Pong Elbow... Its Homecoming Time!!!

There is nothing like half naked men with painted chests and drunk alumni hanging out with students half their age. There is nothing like honoring the days when you would drink from 7 am to 7 pm, nap, and then drink some more. There is nothing like a college homecoming.

Its mid-October and universities are preparing for the flock of graduates, both recent and more "established", who will join the undergrad population and celebrate their school's history of violent football games, obscene chanting and excessive drinking. When I was an undergrad I remember being terrorized by a pack of drunk 40 year old dads turned 21 year old wannabes who, with their mock turtle necks underneath their school spirited sweatshirts, tried to persuade me and my friends that they knew of a great after bar. Oh, alumni.

Its funny how your former, younger, drinking self emerges when you return to your old stomping grounds and its even funnier watching little league dads and kool-aid moms put on their game faces and become the most offensive fans in the stadium during homecoming. With this in mind, I would like advise my fellow recent grads to move forward with caution because, unlike your more established counterparts, you will not be looked at as the funny, old alumni, oh no... you will be put on a pedestal as you are now in the real world, yet still could blend in with the regular college crowd, and when the older, established, mock turtle neck wearing alumni are buying students drinks, students are buying YOU drinks... and shots... and boots full of beer... and a nasty combination of liquids better suited for nail polish removal.

Think about it. When you were in college, you had friends of all classes and when they graduated, leaving you behind, it was like the red carpet of past students during homecoming. You would see your favorite classmate from the year before and you would glamorize their real world existence which probably wasn't anything more than a bedroom in their parent's house and an entry level position at a dry company, but still, they were "out" and deserved a drink! And those recent alumni were so drunk on pure college bliss that they accepted every drink graciously, which was then followed by them trying to get the bar to participate in a school chant and finished with the comment, "don't EVER graduate" (in slurred, alumni speech, of course).

Now most of my friends have pretty heavy work schedules that have eliminated the M-F drinking conditioning of their college days (please note the emphasis on MOST as I realize some my friends are still a version of their college self, but instead of drinking in the token campus bar, they are sipping high priced booze in a suit with their coworkers on a random Tuesday night), and they have definitely toned down their weekend habits as the real world is exhausting... and expensive! But although we may honor our newly found adult drinking limits during our day to day lives, there is something about going back to our Alma Mater that brings out the students we once were.

So as you begin to stretch out the elbow you play beer pong with and prepare to celebrate homecoming as a recent grad and less established alumni, please remember that although current students don't know much about the real world, they DO know how to drink, and your arrival to campus will merit Bradgelina-like attention which will result in many drinks and many beer related game challenges. So don't get too caught up in the undergrads adoring you, and don't be THAT girl or guy who can't keep up with the youngins', BUT please DO all of us "real-worlders" proud and kick every undergrad's ass in beer pong. Go Team!