Real Men Wear Eyebrow Pencil

I was in no way a needy or pushy bride-to-be. When comparing myself to the spectrum of brides, I would like to think I fell in the green hues, where I would freak out about missing wedding invitation envelopes, but didn’t demand that my bridesmaids all dye their hair the same color. I was emotional, but not irrational. I was picky, but not demanding. I had a vision, but I was open to suggestions. Basically, I was every wedding vendors dream.

It wasn’t until my then fiancé decided to buzz his eyebrows, shedding what use to be glorious strips of hair that framed his beautiful baby blues, that I FREAKED. OUT. It was my first irrational, bridal panic worthy of a reality show taping.

Before I go any further… yes, you heard me right. My husband buzzed off his eyebrows. 39 days before our wedding.

During a phone call at work, my hubby-to-be tells me that he “trimmed” his brows and thought they looked “a lot different than usual.” Apparently he “trims” them frequently and I thought nothing of it because his eyebrows have looked the same to me for the past five years. If trimming is his secret to being so handsome, please, trim away.

So I walk into our house later that evening and approach him from behind as he’s working in our office, staring at the computer. I go to hug him and recoil in horror as he turns around showing me remnants of what use to be his eyebrows.

They were gone. Well, practically gone. He looked like the lead character in that movie Powder, minus the bald head and freaky supernatural powers.

He didn’t think they were “THAT bad,” and got so defensive telling me they would grow back and scoffed when I noted we have a similar hair color and that my eye brow pencil would be a perfect shade for him.

I spent restless nights thinking about how washed out and odd he would look in our wedding pictures. I would love him no matter what, eyebrows or no eyebrows, but if you read my last post, the one thing I wanted to run smoothly were the wedding pictures and his tango with a trimmer jeopardized our chances of having perfect photos (little did I know my 103 degree fever the day of the wedding would be a far bigger concern than missing hair.)

It was one week after the “incident” and my hairless hubby still didn’t have eyebrows. I had time to get over the situation and realized there were bigger, hairier fish to fry. We were getting ready for our bridal shower and as I was putting my makeup on, the hubs paced nervously around me and finally said, “um… you know that eyebrow pencil you were talking about? Can I see it?”

It was then that I realized that real men make stupid mistakes with a trimmer and that real men will also wear eyebrow pencil under dire circumstances. And most importantly, I learned that real men will do anything to make their wife happy. I’m so happy I married myself a real man… who, by the way, had grown back a full set of REAL eyebrows by the time we walked down the aisle.