Ahhhh… it’s good to be back. A lot has happened since I last posted. The most important thing to announce is that I’m officially hitched now – I bet after all my posts about the bridal madness I faced you didn’t think I’d make it down the aisle, right? Not only did I make it down the aisle, I made it down with nothing but grace, beauty and a 103 degree temperature. Yes, that’s right. I gave new meaning to the phrase “hot bride” and have come to realize that the survival potential of your marriage is promising if you truly don’t know if you’ll physically survive the wedding and question if you’ll literally come out alive.
During the madness leading up the wedding, late night seating arrangement planning coupled with a frantic work schedule and the spread of the swine flu, resulted in an illness that will put me in the bridal hall of fame.
And we’re not talking about a little “cough, cough, sniffle, sniffle.” We’re talking about a full fledged virus that put me into emergency care TWICE (the second time the day before the wedding) and equipped me with medicine that came with the warning, “if I were you, I wouldn’t take this pill and partake in any kind of champagne toast.” I was weak, I could barely speak because my throat was swollen shut and I was hotter than the serving dishes at the rehearsal dinner.
The days leading up to the wedding I realized there would be no way I’d feel physically well on the big day. I hoped that I would have a strong enough voice for my vows, I wished that my fever would go down just enough to be somewhat comfortable but I PRAYED that I would still look healthfully flawless because after all, memories will fade, but darnit, pictures get passed around for decades to come. I don’t want my great, great grandchildren asking, “why is Grandma Stejamoe so pale and sweaty in her wedding pictures? Is that what they looked like in the 2000s?”
So my main goal that day was nothing more than to turn my “fresh from the ER” look into “fresh from the spa that just happens to have on call nurses and doctors on staff” look. And may I give you a piece of advice? If you’re in a bind and need to get attention ASAP at a an emergency care center, just tell everyone that you’re “getting married tomorrow.” Not only will you be treated well before the guy who just lost a thumb or the lady who has a screw driver stuck in her eye, you’ll also get the nicest bunch of medical staff crowding your hospital bed sharing stories about their wedding and “oooh-ing’ and “ahh-ing” as you try to croak out what your flower colors are and what you’ll be serving your guests. Does it really take five nurses to get your blood pressure reading? Well, apparently when you’re talking about bridesmaid dresses, it does.
So with my new ER fan club, a hearty combination of medication and the fear of horrible wedding pictures, I sucked everything up and hoped for the best. Its now nearly 5 months later and looking back at it all, I just didn’t hope for the best, I got the best… the wedding was flawless, the groom didn’t faint, I looked HEALTHY in our pictures and we had hundreds of our friends and family surrounding us with love that day… but I made a point to make sure they weren’t surrounding us too much as I tried to tame my wedding crashing fever.
Oh, and did I mention that I was coughing so hard before I walked down the aisle in an effort to oust anything that would impede on my vows that I sprained my neck? Yeah, for the first two days of our honeymoon I couldn’t turn to look at my groom without turning my ENTIRE body. And I was in so much pain that I tried to convince the hubs that we should find a Mexican doctor to inject my neck with a muscle relaxer and that I was sure it would be safe. What a romantic honeymoon, right?!
I do get sad thinking back about how sick I felt on my wedding day, but I also think back and smile knowing that I have one heck of a story to tell. And you know how people will tell you that if it rains on your wedding day it means you’ll be rich? Well, I’d like to add another saying to the books… if you turn up in the ER the day before your wedding sick as a dog, it means you’ll have a healthy, happy marriage… or if nothing else, it means you’ll get some impeccable customer service from ER staff.
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