Yours, Mine and Ours.

Marriage is on my mind, I can’t help it. It seems that where ever I turn there is something relating to holy matrimony – either someone I know is getting engaged or there is a marathon of a Wedding Story on TLC or I look up in the sky and see clouds that resemble a 5 tiered wedding cake. Recently, even random one off conversations result in a mention of marriage as the other day, a friend of mine asked me if I thought it was weird that a couple would share the same email address once they tied the knot. So for example, if John marries Jane, then their one and only email address would be something like, john&jane@gmail.com.

This random question arose when this friend of mine received an email from a newly married couple announcing that they would be ditching their separate email accounts and creating one joint account that they both could access. Good bye are the days of e-solidarity for this twosome, through the vow of marriage, they have meshed their lives, their homes, their families and the random “You know you’re a redneck when...” forwards they receive from friends bored at work.

So what do you think about sharing your personal email account with your significant other? Personally, I would never do it. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing to hide electronically from the love of my life, because what fills my personal inbox are emails about the latest products from Coach and e-cards from my mom; however, when I’m married, I plan on sharing pretty much everything and having a personal email account will be one of the last solo ventures I keep.

So beyond the personal email account, I’m pretty much an advocate meshing everything with your spouse – if you listen carefully you can hear the screams and expletives of feminists from around the globe, cursing my decision to “lose” my identity to a man. Say what you will, hairy feminists, my decision has nothing to do with gender power, it has to do with the power found in numbers.

Did your mom ever tell you not to walk alone at night? Or that you could go to the mall as long as you were with a group? For me, I feel that when you get married you have a permanent clique comprising of you and your spouse. If the person you say “I Do” to is the right one, they will back you up, protect you and take half of all your stresses (give or take a few).

For example, I believe that finances should be shared when you get hitched; none of this, “funny money” bank accounts that you each hide from one another, never knowing exactly how much the other has, thinking that it may be enough to fund that air conditioner repair that supposedly you don’t have the shared moolah for.

When the day comes for me to me tie the knot, I want my husband to share half of our financial burdens if for no other reason to spread out the stress. And yes, I’ll be able to buy my designer handbag every now again and he can splurge on season tickets to the Brewers, its just that the funds for both will come out of the same pot of gold. And please don’t start to argue with me, I KNOW that this technique doesn’t work for everyone and thank goodness, because I’m NOT everyone. You do what you want and I’ll have a joint bank account.

So how could someone like me who is so for sharing money with her spouse not be into sharing an email address? The last time I checked, my bank statement doesn’t let me send invitations for a surprise party and doesn’t forward funny sayings about how stupid men can be. Email is trivial, finances are not, and I personally think major things need to be faced head on with your partner in crime. So when it comes to a marital relationship, I say share what makes you comfortable, even if that includes an email address, and keep those things separate that will help prevent confrontations ... bathroom towels, closet space, toothbrushes, etc., because “what mine is yours” is not always the case.