You know how if you went to Cheers, everyone knows your name? I’ve personally always wanted to find a place where I could walk in and have people light up with joy after recognizing my face, knowing that I’m a “regular”. Well, it’s happened... finally. It may have taken a good two and half years of seeing the same overworked Starbucks baristas at the same tired location, but I’m now reaping the benefits of becoming a recognizable regular; however, I think it comes with a hefty price tag... and when I say “hefty”, I mean, this desired stardom is going to make me fat.
I’ve gone to the Starbucks in my office building regularly for over two years. The staff at that location has remained fairly consistent, but they also seem consistently annoyed with the early morning coffee rush. Starbucks is notorious for its chipper employees who brew your latte with a smile, but this specific coffee crew is kind of like the black sheep of the Starbucks enterprise as they avoid casual conversation and conveniently forget that you like room in your coffee for cream. This unfriendly vibe instantly crushed my dreams of ever being recognized and treated like a cast member of Cheers, but then about a month ago, my years of smiling and good consumer behavior paid off as one of the baristas asked, “hey, you’re in here a lot, what’s your name?” SCORE. Ever since then, the Cheers theme song plays as soon as I enter the store, and I’ve already started to reap the major benefits of being a preferred customer.
However, I’m not only counting those benefits in money, but also in calories. Now when I order my “usual” grande, raspberry, nonfat, no whip mocha, I’m instantly upgraded to a venti. For you Starbucks novices out there – a “grande” equals a medium sized drink and a “venti” equals a BIG GULP. Although I’m grateful for the free perk, I find myself finishing the entire bucket of liquid calories even if I’m full to the brim with espresso. At least its non-fat, right?
And this morning... oh boy... where do I begin? I ordered a regular cup of joe and splurged on their low fat blueberry coffee cake (I just have to note its “low fat” because you’ll start to think that wedding dress sizes may be more reasonable than I made them out to be considering I drink venti mochas and chow down on coffee cake – I swear, I’m a healthy eater and those dresses are sized way too small!!) Anyway, when I was handed the bag with the LOW fat pastry, I noticed it was heavier than usual and with a wink the barista said, “just take it”. What did I “just take”? A FREE piece of extra coffee cake, that’s what.
Although that’s an incredibly kind gesture and something I should start getting used to as a recognizable, loved, respected regular, its just starting to become overwhelming... and fattening. And it’s not only the freebies, it’s the attention I’m getting – the other day, I walked in to the store to get my afternoon coffee and was immediately greeted by a high five... I’m not even joking. Again, a very nice gesture, but I realized that when it comes to being at work and wanting to get away to my coffee escape, I really DON'T want everyone to know my name.
What’s a girl to do? My new found celebrity will stay with me until I start sporting a wig and sunglasses or decide to boycott my mochas... both of which won’t happen. So as I adjust to a life where “everyone knows my name”, I’ll just have to remember to appreciate the recognition and promise myself that I won’t let this attention go to my head... or to my butt.
Too many high fives, mochas and pieces of coffee cake will that to you, you know.
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