The "Train Wave"

What? ANOTHER post about riding the train you say? Get over it. I’m a commuter and will spend half of my adult life sitting in the last car of the Metra, right side, 4th seat up, and it’s only natural to write about what you know... and I know trains.

So, the “Train Wave”. What the heck is the "Train Wave" or better yet, my burning question is why does it even exist to begin with??

The next time you ride a train, look out the window and you’ll slowly begin to notice that the most random people wave as your train passes by. Now, I’m NOT talking about the cute little kids, who wave their adorable chubby hands as they wait for daddy to get off the train or the lame heartbroken boyfriend who waves farewell to his probably not-gonna-last for another week girlfriend who gets on the train to go to summer camp... “Buddy, she’s coming back eventually, but probably with a new boyfriend, so stop lamely waving”.

I’m talking about grown adults, who are taking a morning jog through their neighborhood or walking to the end of their driveway to pick up the paper who WAVE AS THE TRAIN PASSES BY – thus the term, “Train Wave”. (Note that although this behavior exists, I made up that term, so use it with caution to avoid embarrassment when you suddenly realize that it’s not a universally embraced term.)

So back to these adult, able minded train wavers. Why do they wave to a train in the distance when they know that the hundreds of people who are riding it will just end up staring at them thinking that they look ridiculous in their tight running shorts or funny in their fluffy bath robe? Do they know someone on the train and just hope that their drive by waving will catch the eye of their loved one? Probably not. These train wavers are waving at complete strangers, for what reason, I don’t know.

If you think I’m being tough on these nut bars, I would ask you to then walk outside and wave to someone you don’t know - and accidentally waving to a person who looked like your best friend in a crowded bar doesn’t count. I’m talking about stretching out your hand muscles, going into the Chicago loop, standing on the street and waving... to anyone and everyone... you’ll soon be the best dressed homeless, crazy person anyone has ever seen.

This morning, my train passed a construction site and a few of the sweaty guys started waving at it – note that you can’t see through the windows very well and most of these “Train Waves” happen from pretty far away, so its not like they saw a hot young dish and wanted to live up to the dirty construction worker stereotype and ogle her. And then we passed through another town and some landscapers literally put down their rakes and starting waving as we went by. It was like the Metra transformed into the Pope-Mobile or something and all its riders were his holiness. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

The best one is this lady who jogs every morning alongside the street that follows the tracks. She will do the “no eye contact Train Wave” as she keeps her eyes straight ahead with determination as she runs, yet will raise her right and wave like crazy not even breaking her stare. It’s like she was told that if she doesn’t wave like a moron to the trains that pass by she’ll be struck down by lightening. This is truly perplexing to me because when I’m not riding the train and see one pass, I don’t instinctively start convulsing with happiness and try to get the attention of the strangers within the mysterious locomotive.

Since I experienced so many “Train Waves” this morning, I’ve been trying to think of instances in which you’d publically wave at a stranger. Like during one of the parades at Disney. In that instance, you wave like crazy to Minnie Mouse who is probably an out of luck dude looking for extra money, but that doesn’t even come close to “Train Wave” because you are in a setting that permits and expects it.

But, if Minnie Mouse were to pop up randomly on the street of your home town, I bet that you wouldn’t start waving at her (or in some cases, under the costume, him), you’d probably think, “who’s the jerk who stole that costume?” See, there is a time and a place for random acts of waveness, so I don’t get how trains constitute as that appropriate time and place.

So as I wait for the answers to address this phenomenon, I’ll continue to ride the train, looking out at my “fans” who wave at me like Minnie Mouse on parade. Yeah, it still creeps me out.