I've Gone Bananas Over You.

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and if you listen carefully you can hear the sarcastic sighs and pessimistic groans of those who do not have a special someone to spend the holiday with. To them, Valentine’s Day is consumerism’s way of shoving their singlehood in their face. With every heart shaped candy and every mushy card on display, these anti V-day warriors point and shoot their cynical guns, while all I want to do is put a daisy in the barrel and give them a lame Hallmark card with a monkey saying, “I’ve gone bananas over you”.

I personally love, dare I say “heart”, Valentine’s Day. Always have and always will. It has been my favorite holiday, even trumping Christmas, since I was chubby, snaggle toothed kid and if I remember correctly, I wasn’t in a serious relationship during my elementary school days, and the only man in my life that tugged at my heart strings was Big Bird... and did Big Bird even have a sex? I mean, the bird didn’t even wear pants for God’s sake.

So why should you embrace Valentine’s Day with or without a romantic rendezvous?

As a child, Valentine’s Day was just another reason to celebrate and get hopped up on sugar, and unlike the anticipation of Christmas that causes young kids to lose sleep over a fat man with a cookie addiction, Valentine’s day has a quick and simple arrival with limited stress, and instead of reindeer with lethal antlers, you get a cute little cherub flying around with a painless bow and arrow. You would share cards with your entire class and for once, everyone felt included... even if that meant you gave all the boys and that girl who smelled like cheese the “ugly” Valentines with the non-chocolate candy.

As an adult, Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to get in touch with friends and remind those around you how much you love them – and I’m not talking about the romantic, mushy love, I’m talking about the relationships you have with your friends and coworkers. Who doesn’t like a little card every now and again? And that’s all you need to give – something small and sweet that does NOT force you to take a hammer to the good ol’ piggy bank. And when Valentine’s Day comes to an end, you aren’t left with two months of leftovers, two months of debt and post-holiday depression.

All of this goodness aside, there are still people out there, primarily women, who when they start seeing the red of Valentine’s Day immediately get the blues. Some people feel that if they don’t have someone special to share the romantic time of year with, then the holiday is a complete bust. Yes, Valentine’s Day is obviously a very couple oriented holiday; however, you need to look beyond the dinners for two and make time for a dinner for 6 and get together your close friends and family and celebrate.

So this year, don’t decide to sulk on February 14th, don’t stay in and rent sappy love movies and don’t sit around with equally bitter people and moan about the woes of love. Go out, be happy, send a friend a funny card and enjoy the stressful, cheap holiday. You may even be pleasantly surprised to learn that someone has “gone bananas over you”.

Hello, Lent. Good Bye, Coffee.

Yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Did you eat enough? I, myself, indulged in a Chipotle burrito that I later regretted as I laid in bed cuddling with a nasty case of heart burn. My queen size bed was definitely not big enough for the two of us as my hyper indigestion demanded attention from my exhausted burrito stuffed body. Let’s just say that I truly put the Fat in Fat Tuesday.

Now it’s Ash Wednesday, my burrito has been digested and it’s the start of Lent. Traditionally, Christians “give up” something enjoyable over the next 40 days to represent the sacrifice JC made, and for me, my annual Lenten sacrifice is a way of making up for all the 325 unholy days in my year. I take this Lent thing seriously and have decided that I will put my mug down, say good bye to my Starbucks barista and give up.... wait for it... COFFEE... dun dun DUN.

If you know me, you know I love me a good cup o’ joe. And I’m not just a Starbucks snob, no sir. I enjoy my java any way I can get it; Folger’s at home, a good old fashion brew at a diner, and yes, even a cup of capitalism at a ubiquitous coffeehouse. By hanging up my coffee mug for the next 40 days, I’m giving up something that has become a daily comfort and by saying farewell to my beloved drink of choice, I’m presenting myself with a challenge and that’s what a Lenten sacrifice is all about.

For you cheaters out there, giving up TV when you barely turn on the tube or deciding to drink less cocktails when you’re averaging only one glass of wine per week, will send you straight to Hell. Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but giving up something that isn’t truly a physical and mental sacrifice doesn’t really count – why even bother then?

But the more I think about, it does seem a bit ridiculous that modern society has determined that if you truly enjoy and depend on something like candy, smoking, coffee or all of the above, giving up your guilty pleasure is a fair trade for a holy figure’s life. Well, wait. Did they even have coffee when Jesus around?! If Jesus had access to a Jerusalem Starbucks, I think he’d agree that us modern folk who give up espresso is his honor are truly dedicated to faith. But seriously, how can giving up a truly trivial habit represent the ultimate sacrifice? Although, in our current day and age, it’s not very realistic for me to pack up and tromp through the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. I don’t have 40 days vacation built up yet.

However, I don’t think trudging through sand or giving up something that could drastically impact your life in negative way is what JC would have wanted from us. No matter how small your Lenten sacrifice, it’s still a sacrifice... but, remember... if you don’t like chocolate and decide that you’re giving it up, you’re just lame and I hope you choke on a piece of non-chocolate candy.

Chocolate and Starbucks aside, times have changed and no matter what religion you are, how you decide to express your faith is up to you as long as you know you aren’t cheating yourself or what you believe in. I have a very good friend who just left for Israel to really experience her Jewish roots first hand and she the epitome of faithful dedication. For me, I think I’ll stick with my 40 day coffee hiatus to show my own religious commitment. Baby steps... baby steps.