Feeling Funky? Blame Mercury Retrograde!

Have you been having computer problems? Was your flight majorly delayed? Did you miss an appointment when you're normally consisently on time?

Well, you may not be just having a bad day and your funk may be result of astrological influence, more specifically, your funk may be caused by Mecury retrograde.

What in the heck is Mercury retrograde?! Mercury goes retrograde 3 times a year and it lasts for about 3 weeks. If you watch carefully, Mercury appears to turn around and go backwards for those three weeks. Now, Mercury really isn't going backwards. It's just an optical illusion based on the relative speeds and orbits of the Earth and Mercury around the Sun. And why should you care?! Well, from January 28 to February 19, 2008, Mercury will be going retrograde causing anything involving communications, verbal activity, technology, short trips and journeys, primary education, and siblings to be negatively affected.

(Impressive knowledge, eh? Yeah, I'm THAT good. No, actually, check out where I got my impressive information at http://www.karmastrology.com/mercrx.shtml).

Astrologers refer to Mercury retrograde as an astrological signature for Murphy's Law and warn us common folk to avoid making large decisions or starting new projects. Not to get all voodoo on you, but supposedly Mercury rules over the mind's processes, studying, communication, businesses, travels and the like, so when Mercury reverses its direction, all these areas are affected and you should proceed with caution. Those who are true Mercury retrograde believers recommend finishing old projects or work on things that you haven't been able to finalize and advise you to steer clear of starting anything from scratch as during this time, those new projects will only fail... damn you, Mercury!

To prevent any of the negative consequences of the retrograde, its recommended to double-check your agenda, communicate with colleagues regularly to confirm that everything goes as planned, have everything ready before the deadline and leave some extra time for unexpected events. Additionally, if you don't normally save documents regularly as you are working on them, SAVE THEM. According to experts, Mercury retrograde has a tendency to crash computers and shove all your important work down the cyber drain so even if you don't buy this astrology babble, SAVE, SAVE, SAVE - just to be safe :)

Why do I bring all of this retrograde mumbo jumbo up? A colleague of mine brought it to my attention as we're currently organizing a major event for one of clients and logistically, its just not going as smoothly as expected. Individuals planning to attend the event are magically dropping off registration lists, travel arrangements are falling through the cracks and no matter how hard we try to stay organized, it just seems like a "greater power" is working against us. Is this the work of Mercury retrograde? Perhaps. Should we be prepared to deal with looming mishaps and technological meltdowns? Always. (Retrograde or not.)

So as you face the next 3 weeks, just remember to proceed with caution. No need to cancel plans or change your day to day activities just because a group of astrology warlocks decided to wave their magic wands and concur that Mercury is to blame for things that normally happen on a regular basis anyway, but it never hurts to go with the new age flow and pay homage to the unknown... although I don't really buy it.

Ahem, now, if you will excuse me, this Gemini is going to burn some incense, play the bongos and pray to the Mercury Gods that the upcoming event we're planning is free any retrograde mishaps...

The Diet Dr. Pepper that Broke the Camel's Back

You know that old saying, “The straw that broke the camel’s back” – well, why is it that the smallest things can just put us over the edge when we’re down?

Earlier this week, I was having a rough day with a multitude of things overwhelming me, leaving me with a knot of stress in the pit of my stomach. I knew that I was stressing out, but it wasn’t until I went to a get a Diet Dr. Pepper from the vending machine that it all hit me.

I wanted to get away from my desk and to soothe my anxious digestive system, so I thought I would indulge in a carbonated treat; a Diet Dr. Pepper to be exact. Much to my dismay, the machine is completely out. I didn’t want a Diet Coke. I didn’t want a Sprite. I wanted my damn DDP! This one small pop machine malfunction set me over the edge – I was furious and I suddenly realized how stressed and overwhelmed I truly was.

The steady flow of action item emails I was receiving all day didn’t do it. The non-stop phone calls didn’t do it. Even the constant deadline reminders didn’t do it. It was a 12 oz. aluminum can, or lack thereof, that left me in a panicked fury. I was the camel and the can was THAT piece of straw.

I find it interesting that, for most people, we can withstand massive amounts of pressure and exhibit extraordinary strength and courage, but then it can take something as insignificant as an empty pop machine to have that strength come falling apart. It’s almost like we try to fight fear, sadness and anger to the extreme, not allowing ourselves to feel what we’re entitled to. As we exhaust ourselves trying to do this, we aren’t prepared to take the little bumps in the road because we’re just anticipating the catastrophic mountains and then suddenly, the little bump turns into a big surprise that you just can’t take.

Why do I share this random thought with you? As I get older, I find that straw continues to pile itself on my back (no, I don’t have a hump nor do I like to spit at people) and as I face new life challenges, I can’t help but to want to avoid Diet Dr. Pepper meltdowns as they are a ridiculous waste of time and energy. When you get to the point where the smallest set back forces you to crumble, it means you’ve let far more important issues go too far without addressing them.

Maybe if I pushed back on some requests, I wouldn’t have been pushed to my limit. Maybe if I took a moment to step back, breath and evaluate my situation, I wouldn’t have been so overwhelmed. And maybe if I had just told someone I was stressed to just put it out there and vent, I would have maybe settled for a Diet Coke.

Life is Short, Butts Don't Stay Cute Forever and Your 20s Fade Fast.

Being a young twenty-something is arguably one of the best times in one’s life. You are the envy of those around you as you strut through life with no real commitments – no kids, no spouse, no mortgage, all while still being able to fit into that hot pair of jeans you wore in college. Life is great as a young twenty-something, isn’t it? Well, you may have very little commitment and a hot butt, but something that I have personally experienced as a young adult is the incredible prejudice people have towards those more youthful than them.

Age discrimination, also know as ageism, is something that truly has impacted me since graduating from college. A college student comes with their share of stereotypes and I accepted those because lets face it, college students are livin’ the easy life unaware of the harsh realities that await them in the real world. But here I am, two years out, and I’m still judged and mistreated like a 15 year old girl in a high-end department store assumed to have sticky fingers.

I experience ageism the most when I’m by myself making a face-to-face transaction of any kind. This blows my mind because I am not a slob and if I’m out shopping for nice things, chances are is that I’m wearing something nice and at the very least, LOOK like I can afford the items around me. If I were wearing Sponge Bob flannel pajama pants with an oversized sweat shirt while perusing the Gucci handbags at Nordstrom’s, then sure, discriminate all you want, but I’m one pulled together chick, if I may say so myself, and since our society is pretty superficial, you’d think I would at least be given the benefit of the doubt and not get dished the youthful biases that are so often thrown my way.

The worst experience I ever had that displayed ageism at its horrendous finest, was when I tried to return a designer bag at the store formally known as Marshall Field’s. Now before you go any further, please know that this is a TRUE story.

I was given a beautiful bag for my new job as a graduation gift, which then began to fall apart after one month, and call me picky, but I think a $700 tote bag should be able to withstand at least 30 days in Chicago. Long story short, when I tried to return the bag with the receipt, original tags and all, I was humiliated as the manager claimed that I obviously was “abusing” the bag and was way “too young” to have such a designer perched on my shoulder to begin with. I felt like she was going to call social services for accessories and have my purse rights taken away. I couldn’t believe it.

I stood at the register completely tongue tied as shoppers began to stare at me as this manager, with terrible roots may I add, used my youth against me. And keep in mind that I was returning this bag during a break from work, so I was wearing a very polished, business casual outfit and even tried to flash my security badge for my building to reinforce to this store manager that I working WOMAN. In fact, I KNEW that my salary as a junior level employee most likely exceeded what she was currently earning as a haughty-taughty manager for a store that should have never been bought out in the first place. What’s worse is that I naturally look “more mature” and even my voice and the way I speak is often mistaken as belonging to someone 10 years my senior, so she must have seen my cute butt and determined that I HAD to be a young twenty-something.

This experience scarred me for life, but it did prepare me for the winding road of ageism ahead both in my personal and professional life, and while I have decided to boycott this particular store, I have figured out that if you can’t beat ‘em, trick ‘em – my secret weapon is to hide behind a phone or email at first, to allow my talents be noticed before my youthful glow.

I determined that this mysterious "woman behind the curtain" approach works well well for me as in my career, I have spent a lot of time behind a desk either emailing or making phone calls. In fact, I have a state-of-the-art headset that allows me to talk on the phone, type an email and eat Cheez-its all at the same time. I have worked with some people consistently for almost two years and have never met with them face-to-face, which has greatly helped my youthful battle, because our faceless interaction leads them to believe that I should have children in college when in all actuality, they would be shocked to learn that just two years ago, I was just a kid in college myself. When I do finally meet with those I work closely with, they are often taken back by my apparent age, but I hope they think to themselves, “DAMN. This girl is young, but is she professional and able to deliver me good results! She obviously won’t be retiring soon, so she’ll be making my life easier for a loooong time.”

So if you’re a young twenty-something experiencing random, unfair bouts of ageism, I recommend you find your secret weapon, whatever that may be and use it to your advantage. But never try to diminish your youthful spunk just to appease those around you who may underestimate your worth. I’m mature, I’m capable and yes, I happen to be young, but I don’t think my age should be used against me. Life is short, butts don't stay cute forever and your twenties fade fast -so, no matter how old you are, stand tall, appreciate your age and conquer the world one ageist at a time.

Hello, My Name is Stephanie. And I'm Addicted to Diet Coke."

“What’s your vice?”

My dad asked me this question the other night because he had just watched a morning show that asked each of the presidential candidates what their vices were. This interview question was obviously an attempt to thin out the thick political tensions that are normally associated with presidential candidates and add a “feel good” human interest element to an otherwise anxiety ridden animal-like competition. Enough about healthcare and the war in Iraq! I want to hear about Obama’s obsession with chocolate and Giuliani’s love of cigars! Hey, those guys eat junk and harm their bodies too? They are just like me and it makes me wanna vote!

It was no surprise that a majority of the presidential candidates admitted that their vices include sugar addictions, which is the easy way out to mask their probable alcohol habits, and the closest thing to controversy that came out of the discussion was Fred Thompson’s confessed fondness for Cuban cigars... that’s right, a potential president likes to indulge in ILLEGAL rolled tobacco. If Thompson claims victory we all know what his first presidential decision will be – “Bienvenido to America, Cuban cigar makers!”

When my dad had me thinking about my own vice, I thought it was an interesting question because everyone, including seemingly moral, respectable presidential candidates, have their bad habits and in the end, our vices are something we all have in common.

Not to get all cheesy and 4th grade class speech on you, but according to the dictionary, a “vice is a practice or habit that is considered immoral, depraved, and/or degrading in the associated society.” Whoa. I didn’t realize eating chocolate was such a sin. But then again, a weight loss clinic would consider the presence of a Hershey’s bar the equivalent of a bottle of Jack Daniels in an AA meeting, so I guess the severity of the vice depends on the severity of the situation. But when it’s all said and done, a vice is merely a bad habit... how bad you let that habit become is up to you, and if your vice forces you to attend a group support session of any kind, then I recommend you talk with Fred Thompson and figure out how you can turn your vice into a legal, acceptable practice.

So what would I consider my vice? That’s easy. Diet Coke.

“Hello, my name is Stephanie and I’m addicted to DC.”
“Hello Stephanie.”

I crack open a can of Diet Coke like a middle aged man opens a can of beer after a long day. There is something just so soothing to me about the bubbly, artificial goodness and if it wouldn’t be looked down upon, I would fill a camel back water bottle with Diet Coke and sip on it all day long as the sugary substance sits perched on my shoulders. This specific addiction is ultimately a harmful vice because God knows that one day I will drop dead of a NutraSweet overdose leaving only my brittle, Diet Coke infused bones behind. Oh well. I’m over it.

Why is it that society must turn to habits and indulgences to stay calm and sane? I personally think a vice is a grown up version of a “binkie” or a pacifier, representing a place for us to escape if only for a moment. No matter how stressed I am, there are those few brief moments as I pop open my can of DC where all I can think about is enjoying my favorite drink... I’m NOT thinking about work and I’m NOT thinking about errands and my to-do list... I’m thinking about how much I’m going to enjoy those first few sips. And then about a second later, I’m back to being stressed, but instead of doing it alone, I have my beloved Diet Coke to keep me company. And although I should be hydrating my body with pure H20 and not harmful toxins, there are far worse vices in life and I like to think of mine as a relatively healthy one.

If it’s chocolate, cigars or Diet Coke, vices are something that interns have in common with CEOs, they are something that children and parents share and something that enemies and friends alike admit to. Even presidential candidates confess to their vices, even though they all ironically happen to be fairly PC, because having a vice somehow makes you more human and more relatable. No matter what, you should embrace your seemingly bad habits because I think they allow us to de-stress and help us face each day, but you must evaluate your vices to determine if they cause more harm than good – my rule? If your vice is either banned in public places – e.g. streaking or smoking – or if your vice forces you to attend special classes – e.g. AA – then find a new habit... may I suggest carbonated soda?

So what is your vice? What do you indulge in regularly and you just can’t live without? Now remember, you’re most likely not running for office if you’re reading this, so be honest. Unless, Fred Thompson, if you’re reading this, I’m all for spicing up the US with some Cuban flava! More power to you, man.